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Nancy Boy

from Crepuscular by George Eid

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lyrics

I tried hiding in a fishbowl
Was caught in netting, and seen by the world
So, I broke out and I evolved
Into a dragon and sharpened my claws
It didn’t help that I was firstborn
And thought the father some kind of warlord
After a fistful of bad metaphors
I knew I didn’t belong

But am I also not made in the image of God
Bleary-eyed and red-faced, master of macabre

I may be wrong but I’m not Dorian
Just beat from scripture beaten aphorisms
Take it with a pinch of salt and Basil
Androgyny as a conscious placebo
The cracks in the bleachers bleed crepuscular
And, It Is Well With My Soul
But under the cold light of a projector
I lost all self-control

So how should I interpret Verse 28
As an elephant-skinned reprobate

And just because I call God by a different name
Doesn’t mean that I don’t know grace
And just because I’m not bedside on my knees
Doesn’t mean I don’t pray
And, “Can’t you feel more religious”
I’m doing the best I can
But what if purpose is relative
And there’s no master plan

So, I tattooed my sleeves like a Nancy boy
With anthropomorphic bullshit and burdens past
And I don’t understand why
But everyone always asks
But I fucking hate
Explaining their meaning
It’s all so self-deprecating
And I don’t expect you to get it
It’s just how I am

credits

from Crepuscular, released July 24, 2021

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George Eid St. Louis, Missouri

Doing the best I can

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